The Expendables *spoilers*

August 18, 2010

Went to see The Expendables last Sunday and Oh Boy was it worth it!!!

It opens with one hell of a gun fight where we see Dolph Lundgreen blasting the bejeesus out of some guy so awesomely you can’t wipe the maniac grin of your face for several minutes.
 
The movie brings together great names, direct by Sylvester Stallone that really do give the movie one resounding cast crew that gets you quivering just reading the their names.
 
Basic plot line is a group of mercenaries that scout a possible job for “Mr. Church” (Bruce Willis) on a dictatorship run isle and on their reconnaissance job they meet a girl that through her show of courage gets Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) to return in an attempt to save his soul and with him the rest of the gang for some massive explosions and trigger happy fun, and ultimately resolve the conflict.
 
I won’t say more than that as not to spoil too much, but over all a movie to make any one who likes big bangs, loud guns and heavy stabbing very, very happy.
 
Lil’ old Sylvester is still a great actor of the genre though not getting any younger he plays his part brilliantly, though you can’t help but snicker on his running shots as it’s quite apparent his joints are rebelling against the effort and he seems to be going to fall over at any second.
 
Sylvester more than makes up for it on the fighting scenes though, amazing kicks and rolls and a marvelous acting on the conflict scenes. A little bit Rambo-ish if you will but still a very nice movie over all.
 
Can’t help to point out the great comic part at the meeting where “Mr. Church” meets Barney  and Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger) which I won’t reveal because it really is one hell of a highlight if you get it, half the people in the cinema I was in stayed quiet while the rest of us guffawed for a solid minute.
 
Now to the fan girl part of this semi-review.
 
OMG Jason Statham!!!!!!!!  Find me, rip my clothes off and fuck me sideways!
 
He was the main cause for all the perverted sideways grins on my part and any hot blooded individual in the room. He even recites poetry, bad poetry but poetry none the less. As well as doing some actual smiling this is a very good change from his role as the Transporter.
 
Only complain is a definite lack of Jason nakedness that would off made me very happy, and produce many a happy late night…. Wonderings. *shifty eyes*
 
Dolph Lundgreen is a bit old, yes; and still has a thick accent, yes; but he is still hot enough to melt the freaking polar ice caps. And we get to satisfy our hunger for handsome good/bad/slightly psychotic guy. 
 
Ok not really an IMDB worthy review but one just the same, I’ll call it done for now and hope I didn’t get you off viewing the movie because it is a well spent buck.
 
The Expendables

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